10 Lessons I've Learned from Past Relationships

Why learn the hard way when you can learn from the comfort of your iPad? Easier said than done right? I wish I took my own advice sooner rather than later. After years of breakups that could rival Kim Kardashian's ex-list, I hope I've learned a thing or two.

My mom left when I was fairly young, so most of the dating advice I got from my dad sounded like this, "don't do it." Whatever 'it' is, just don't. And when my little 4th grade heart was broken for the very first time by David D, my loving but not so tactful dad said,  

"Stop crying like a little girl. You're better than him, now go play."

Thirty years later, I can see with an experienced heart just how spot on that advice really was. And experience has a way of teaching us lessons that we refuse to learn any other way.

How To Banish Your Gorilla's Forever

So when you last left your heroine I was crushed remember?  That handsome guy that made my heart skip a beat every time I saw him was gone. For real gone. He moved to another state with barely a ‘good-bye’ and a pat on the butt like I was an old college buddy. And I was left crushed, which necessitated more wine and random dates than is generally thought acceptable.

Do Gorillas Have A Conscience?

Okay I lied. Well not really lied. More like circumvented the glaring truth that taunted me mercilessly. Lying sounds so calculating and full of bad intent. As Anais Nin would say, 'I simply chose to see things not as they are, but as I am'. Or as I wanted it to be.  The man I’d been falling head over heels in love with for over a year was wrong for me. I knew it, he even knew it.  My idealist heart purred sweet nothings in my ear; “but, he knows just how to make me laugh”, “and he’s got a fabulous job”, “and he’s so delicious bed”…